I've taken several nasty spills off horses and always managed to walk (or limp, anyway) away. I've been kicked in the jaw by a pony and lived to tell the tale. Two or three car accidents--never anything serious. And I always seem to talk my way out of speeding tickets with nothing but sheer honesty. Yes, officer, I do know how fast I was going. Sorry about that.
What I do not have, though, is the sort of luck that brings lotteries or other fabulous prizes. Take, for example, this weekend.
I was in Virginia for the wedding of an old friend. We had a late-night dinner at McDonald's one evening and I peeled off the stickers on my cup to reveal the Boardwalk piece from their yearly Monopoly game. Whatever I said. It's not like anyone ever wins these things. There's probably one Park Place on the entire planet.
Yesterday, I was running late for work and starving, so I went through the local drivethru. Park Place. On my hashbrowns.
PARK. PLACE.
In combination, those pieces are worth a cool million*.
Do you know who I am? I am Dumb Uncle Tony, who set sacks of wet flour on the ovens in the family bakery and burned half of Great Bend New York to the ground circa 1900, that's who I am. Well. His great-grand daughter, anyway.
One. Million. Dollars.
*Payable over twenty years. Must be eighteen to play. Taxes applicable. This offer is not valid in Illinois, Kurzikstan, or South Dakota.
I have no words.
So here's a picture instead--snapped this morning on my way to get tea.
with #2, you get eggroll
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