and i will always have gum!

On Christmas, my brother-in-law approached me asking if my husband and I would be one of the sets of godparents for his son (aged 2). I said yes. (Because, really, what else can you say, right?)(But also because I am fond of the little germ factory, too.)

Just now, I googled "god parent duties" and came across a host of sites that claim to tell me how to be the best gosh darn godparent ever.

eGodparent.com, tells me that the following items should be on my to-do list post Christening:

1. Pray for your godchild regularly
2. Set an example of Christian living
3. Help him/her to grow in the faith of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, in which he was baptized
4. Give every encouragement to follow Christ and fight against evil
5. Help your godchild to look forward to confirmation.

Here, I feel the need to pause and apologize to both deb (who foolishly named me godmother to her firstborn) and to Matt (said first born), because I can quite honestly say that I have never once prayed for either of you.

Also. Me and Christian Living? Um. Not so much.

So, it seems that I will fail miserably at all five tasks above.

Instead, I do solemnly swear to provide BOTH of my god children with the following:

1. A ride home, whenever they need it and from wherever they might be--no questions asked. (This might prove tricky for Matt, but we'll work on it.)

2. As many amusing/embarassing stories about their parents as they would like to hear.

3. Support in all endeavors that are both legal and not stupid. (And maybe some of the stupid ones, providing they are not dangerously stupid)

4. Up to $100 in cash [one time use or accrued] when needed and denied by parental units. (Unless they plan to use it to buy drugs or alcohol, in which case I will lock them in my basement with the cat box and the Sleestaks.)

5. A chance to be taken seriously by someone who knew them while in diapers.

That's it, boys. That's the best I can do without actually hiring someone who is, you know, a churchgoer and stuff.

PS. I am totally down with the fighting evil bit. But only if we can wear capes.

out of the mouths of babes

I spent Thanksgiving weekend with two of my three neices and one of my three nephews.

Here's a brief list of quotes that I gathered from Julia, age four. (This kid cracks me up.)

Julia: You shouldn't talk about butts in front of people.

Julia: Is that supposed to be a pig? Because it looks like a duck.

Julia: I'm a funny kid. God made me that way. Do you know God?
Me: I haven't met him personally. Have you?
Julia: No. But I've seen him on video.

Julia: Daddy, you should eat fruit because it's healthy and good for you.
Daddy: I only eat fruit when you are watching me.
Julia: Then I'm going to watch you all the time!

Nana: I'm thinking that if we turn on the Christmas trees, we can't use the word stinky anymore.